My greatest fear is stealing my favorite socks

I don't want to alarm anyone, including myself, anymore than need be but I feel as though I should bring something to the attention of our reader….hello Eric.

Octopi have now been documented in their ability to leave their self contained and, might I add casually, guarded ecosystems by simply crawling out of their tanks and skulking along the floor. They are noted to be pursuing new sources of nourishment and a casual but fulfilling night life.

Now, there is only one reason for me to post this new and highly disturbing fact, which would be this: Yesterday, I awoke to find the can of tuna fish that my mother had skillfully and surreptitiously placed into my man purse, torn to pieces at the foot of my bed.

At that particular moment the gravity of the situation didn't really strike me. I thought what I was dealing with was more likely than not just another installment of the Basil and Cybil Faulty drama, our resident and seemingly harmless married Rat couple. I soon found that I was more misguided than the leadership of that ever more user friendly Art Factory, the S.S. Marie Antoinette.

Basil and I were sharing last night's spinach salad when I noticed that he had trouble lifting up the tomato wedges that I had set on a little side plate as to dip in salt (a favorite little dish of mine). That got me thinking… how could either Basil or Cybil open that can by them selves? I would say that Cybil is a match for most mid-sized animals, including Raccoons and baby river otters, but tearing a metal can into twelve small pieces? It seemed a little out of their mutual leagues. I pondered this truth momentarily when fortunately, or unfortunately, the answer shuffled past my door with unwavering confidence.

You guessed it. I was now watching some local Cephalopodan taking liberty with the last morning star veggie dog and using the only clean toaster oven we have left here at washing your hands is an option hotel.

Basil and I stare in paralyzing disbelief as the beast treads down the hallway, prize in hand, and proceeds to give us a petulant glance before successfully attempting to cross Westlake and slip back into the Sound.

I am now trying to reconstruct my life with one of the only tools I have at my disposal, visual Art. So the next few weeks will be devoted to my exploration of self through my greatest of all fears; barnacles, water, eggs, seaweed, stumps, octopi, bible stories and so on.

I will keep you posted and will include any ensuing Art.